Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I take back everything I said about communal showers
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
