I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
