wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
