It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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