I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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