Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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