I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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