it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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