Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
