Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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