This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
