Where did you get a picture of my penis
I cockslap morals
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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