Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
