that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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I'm way too hungover for life right now
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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