Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
