You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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