Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
