I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
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So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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