is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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