I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
