just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
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You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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