just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
