I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
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Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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