take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
