what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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