someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
