Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
