That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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