can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
