apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
