Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
As shirtless as possible
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
