Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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