When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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