barbara walters just said penis...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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