3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
