nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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