You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
