You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
