Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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