i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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