Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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