Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
