I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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