But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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