there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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