then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
