Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
