I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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