dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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