Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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