...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
