I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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