Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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