Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This house was built for laser tag.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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