Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
