I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
