I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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