She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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