bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
