you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
