then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
